What Questions to Ask at a Nanny Job Interview

Table of Contents

1. Introduction
2. Why Asking the Right Questions Matters
3. Before the Interview: Preparation and Mindset
4. The Phone Interview: Opening the Conversation and Handling Deal-Breakers
5. The In‑Person Interview: Structure, Tone, and Observational Priorities
6. What Questions to Ask — Categories and Practical Phrasing
7. Translating Answers into an Offer: Negotiation and Contracting
8. Two Lists to Keep You Focused
9. Practical Scripts and Phrasings You Can Use
10. Practical Mistakes to Avoid and How to Handle Them
11. When You’re Offered the Position: Steps to Take
12. Long-Term Considerations: Career Development and Mobility
13. Notes on Legal and Ethical Issues
14. Tools and Documents to Prepare
15. Conclusion
16. FAQ

Introduction

If you’re applying for a nanny position or preparing to interview families as a professional caregiver, the questions you ask are as important as the answers you give. Asking the right questions protects your safety and income, clarifies expectations, and signals professionalism—so you enter an employment relationship from a position of clarity and confidence. Many experienced childcare professionals report losing months of time and emotional energy when early assumptions about a role turn out to be incorrect; a focused interview can prevent that wasted effort.

Short answer: Ask questions that reveal the true scope of the role, the family’s childcare philosophy, safety and logistics, compensation and employment terms, and long-term expectations. Prioritize deal-breakers in a phone screen, then use the in-person meeting to explore fit, observe the home environment, and agree on boundaries and a written work agreement.

This article walks you step-by-step through preparation, phone screening, in-person interviews, negotiation, and next steps so you can confidently assess any nanny opportunity. You’ll get practical phrasing, scripts you can adapt, a simple three-step phone-screen checklist, and a list of red flags to watch for. My approach blends career coaching with practical employment strategy—helping you treat caregiving as a professional career while evaluating roles that often involve private homes and personal boundaries. If you want tailored support applying these steps to your situation, you can book a free discovery call with me to map your interview strategy and negotiation plan.

My main message: prepare intentionally, ask clear, prioritized questions, and convert the answers into a written work agreement so you create an employment relationship that supports your professional growth and personal well‑being.

Why Asking the Right Questions Matters

Hiring a nanny is a deeply personal decision for families and an intimate work environment for you. That combination creates a unique power dynamic where unclear expectations lead to stress for both sides. Asking the right questions early:

• Protects your time and income by addressing pay, tax classification, overtime, and guaranteed hours.
• Clarifies your responsibilities so you don’t become responsible for unpaid household labor.
• Ensures safety and liability issues—transportation, medical emergencies, background checks—are settled before you start.
• Tests compatibility with the family’s values and parenting approach, reducing the chance of conflict later.
• Positions you as a professional: families who respond to thoughtful questions are more likely to treat the role seriously and honor agreements.

This matters for nannies who see their career as a long-term path—not a stopgap. When a role ties into relocation, travel, or visa logistics, the right questions allow you to evaluate the position’s impact on your life beyond a paycheck. This is central to Inspire Ambitions’ hybrid philosophy: we help professionals align career advancement with international and life mobility, making sure decisions are strategic and sustainable.

The Employer‑Nanny Relationship Is a Professional Engagement

Treat the process like any professional interview. Bring documentation, ask for written agreements, request references, and insist on payroll transparency. Families that respect this approach are more likely to provide fair compensation and predictable boundaries. Your questions are the vehicle that transforms a vague job description into a structured, mutually beneficial working relationship.

Outcomes You Should Assess

Every question you ask should map to one of these outcomes: clarity about duties, safety assurance, fair compensation, work-life boundaries, and growth or continuity. Keep those outcomes in front of you as you structure your interview—so you don’t miss a critical detail when nerves are high.

Before the Interview: Preparation and Mindset

Walk into every interview with clear objectives. Your preparation should include four practical steps: document readiness, research, non-negotiables, and mental rehearsal.

Start by updating or tailoring your written materials. A clean, role-specific resume and a clear list of references is the baseline. If you need a quick refresh, you can download resume and cover letter templates that make it faster to present yourself professionally. Having concise, role-specific documents signals organization and makes it easier for families to check references and verify qualifications.

Do your research. Learn the neighborhood, basic details about the family if they are available online, and the logistics of the commute. If the family’s profile or public posts suggest heavy travel, frequent guests, or other potentially relevant dynamics, make a note to address those topics during the interview.

Define your non-negotiables. These are practical boundaries you refuse to compromise on—things like a minimum hourly rate, whether you will accept live-in roles, maximum hours, and whether you will drive the family car. Write these down and practice explaining them in a neutral, respectful tone. Non-negotiables are not ultimatums; they are the foundation for negotiating terms that support your livelihood and mental health.

Finally, rehearse. Role-play an interview with a friend or coach, focusing on how you’ll ask the family questions as well as how you’ll answer theirs. If negotiation feels uncomfortable, invest in structured skills—you can build consistent confidence through practice and training, and there are targeted programs designed to strengthen interview and negotiation skills for career transitions.

Phone Pre-Screen Checklist

1. Confirm pay range and payment method (W-2, contractor, cash)
2. Clarify hours and start date, including whether the role is live-in or live-out
3. Ask whether they have any immediate logistical deal-breakers (pets, travel, overnight responsibilities)

Use this three-item screen to decide whether to proceed to a longer, in-person interview. If one of your non-negotiables is violated on the phone, you save time. The goal is to eliminate mismatches quickly so you can focus energy on positions that meet your baseline requirements.

The Phone Interview: Opening the Conversation and Handling Deal-Breakers

A phone screen should be short, direct, and respectful—10 to 20 minutes is enough. Begin by summarizing the role the family posted and asking if there are any changes. That immediately shows you’ve read the job posting and opens a collaborative tone.

Open with one of these two sentences to set a professional tone: “I’m excited to learn about the role—you mentioned [X]; could we confirm a few practical details so I understand what a typical week looks like?” or “Before we schedule a home visit, I want to confirm a few basic items so we both use our time efficiently.”

Ask the three pre-screen checklist items. Use neutral language: “What hourly range are you considering for this role?” and “How do you handle payroll—would I be an employee on a W‑2 or an independent contractor?” Don’t debate classification on the phone, but record their answer and plan to confirm.

If the family asks about your salary expectations, respond with a range anchored to your minimum. For example: “I’m looking for a role in the $X–$Y per hour range depending on duties, travel, and whether work includes weekends or live‑in accommodation.” Framing your rate as conditional on duties gives you room to negotiate later.

If a deal-breaker appears—an uninsurable commute, a pay classification you won’t accept, or dangerous pets—end the call gracefully: “Thank you; it sounds like we’re looking for slightly different arrangements. I appreciate your time.” Keep the tone polite and professional; you may encounter the family again or be referred elsewhere.

The In‑Person Interview: Structure, Tone, and Observational Priorities

An in-person interview is where you convert facts into a working relationship. It’s not just a conversation—it’s an observation. Take notes, ask permission to meet and interact with the children, and watch the household dynamics.

Start the meeting by introducing yourself briefly and asking if it’s okay to take notes. That small habit projects competence and prepares you to create a written work agreement that reflects the conversation. If the family hasn’t used a nanny before, lead them through the idea of documenting responsibilities and hours—offer to draft an initial work agreement after the interview.

Bring documentation: a physical copy of your resume, proof of CPR and first aid training if available, a list of references with contact information, and any relevant certifications. If you can’t produce training documentation, be ready to describe your training in detail and offer to complete certification before starting.

Observe the home environment with a respectful curiosity. Note exits, safety hazards (open stairs, unsecured pools), and whether other household staff or cameras are present. If a nanny camera is in place, ask directly whether it exists and whether you will be notified about its presence; this is a legitimate topic that affects trust.

If it’s appropriate, ask to meet the children. Your interactions with them often reveal more than answers to interview questions. Watch how the family responds to your play with their child and how the child reacts. Do the parents give you space to engage or do they micromanage? That response is an early hint about communication style and autonomy.

Setting the Tone: Professionalism and Boundaries

Establish that you see childcare as a professional role. Use phrases like: “I take my role seriously and appreciate clearly documented expectations so I can give the best care.” Propose a written work agreement and periodic check-ins (one month, three months, then annually) to align expectations. Families that agree to reviews are more likely to reward performance with raises and formal development opportunities.

How to Ask Sensitive Questions with Tact

Questions about religion, discipline, and values can be delicate. Use curiosity rather than judgment. For example: “What values or household routines do you want reinforced during the day?” and “How would you like me to handle discipline so we’re consistent?” Frame it as collaboration: your aim is to support parental objectives, not replace them.

If you need clarification on topics like religion or cultural practices, ask for specific examples rather than broad labels. If a parent says, “We have a strict screen policy,” follow up with: “Can you give me an example of what that looks like on a typical weekday?” This converts vague policy into actionable guidance.

What Questions to Ask — Categories and Practical Phrasing

Below I walk through the specific question areas you should cover. Rather than a long checklist, use these categories as a framework and adapt the phrasing to your voice.

About the Children: Health, Development, and Daily Needs

Begin with the child’s name and age, then move quickly into daily realities: medical needs, allergies, developmental milestones, and routines. Ask: “Can you walk me through a typical day for [child’s name] from wake‑up to bedtime?” and “Does [child’s name] have any allergies, medical needs, or sensory preferences I should know about?” For children with special needs or medical requirements, ask about training and documentation: “Who manages medications and can you provide written instructions for administering them?” and “Are there sensory or behavioral strategies that work well for [child’s name]?”

If the child has ongoing therapy or specialist visits, ask about coordination: “Will I be expected to attend therapy sessions or carry out therapy‑related activities at home?” Always clarify boundaries around medical tasks: state whether you are qualified and comfortable administering medication, and when you require written instructions or supervision.

Daily Schedule and Planning

Ask who sets the schedule and how flexible it is: “Who is responsible for the children’s daily schedule, and how much room is there for the nanny to adapt it?” Learn the family’s preferences about check-ins: “How do you prefer updates—text, photo app, written log—and how often?” If the family wants daily logs, clarify the format and the time it takes; this helps you value this administrative time when negotiating compensation.

If spontaneous activities are common, get specifics: “How do you handle last‑minute playdates or outings? How much notice is typical?” and “If I have questions during the day, who should I contact and how quickly will they be available?”

Parenting Philosophy and Discipline

Probe values and discipline style with open, nonjudgmental questions. “How would you describe your parenting philosophy?” and “What disciplinary methods do you prefer, and are there any you never want used?” Ask for examples: “If a child throws a toy in frustration, how would you expect the nanny to respond?” This gives you actionable guidance instead of vague directives.

If religion, dietary practices, or cultural traditions are part of the household, ask how they’re integrated into daily care: “Are there religious or cultural practices you want me to incorporate into routines or meals?” Be explicit about comfort levels—if you are not willing to participate in religious instruction, state that tactfully.

Job Responsibilities and Scope

Clarify what “light household tasks” mean in this family’s language. Ask, “When you say ‘light housework,’ can you list the tasks you expect the nanny to perform weekly or daily?” Probe laundry specifics: “Do you expect me to launder only the children’s clothing or general household laundry?” Ask about dishes: “Do you want dishes washed for child-related meals only, or general kitchen cleanup?” This prevents scope creep—nannies frequently take on extra duties without compensation because duties were never clearly defined.

Address meal planning and grocery specifics: “Will I plan and prepare the children’s meals, and do you expect me to shop for groceries? If so, how are grocery expenses handled?” Get clarity on whether cooking for parents or guests is expected, and whether that affects compensation.

Transportation and Travel

If driving is part of the role, clarify vehicle use and insurance immediately. Ask: “Will I use the family car, and am I covered by your insurance when transporting the children?” and “If I use my own car for child transportation, how will mileage and insurance be handled?” Driving children with your personal vehicle often requires additional commercial coverage—get clarity before you agree.

Address travel expectations: “Do you travel with the children, and do you expect the nanny to travel with them? If so, what percentage of the time?” Ask about overnight arrangements, travel compensation, and who covers travel-related costs. If a family expects you to accompany them internationally, that has implications for visas, vaccinations, and time-off planning—discuss those scenarios specifically.

Compensation, Benefits, and Legal Terms

Compensation is more than an hourly rate. Ask about overtime, guaranteed minimum hours, paid time off, and payroll handling. Phrase questions like: “How often will I be paid, and will I be paid through payroll as an employee on a W‑2, or as an independent contractor?” and “What is your overtime policy for hours beyond X per week?” When families ask about your salary expectations, respond with a range and state conditions that would affect the rate, such as live‑in status, weekend work, or extra duties.

Discuss benefits directly: “Do you offer paid holidays, sick days, vacation, health benefits, or a continuing education stipend?” If the family cannot offer benefits, ask about alternatives: “Would you consider a slightly higher hourly rate in lieu of benefits, or an annual bonus structure?”

If negotiation is challenging for you, consider a course or coaching that strengthens your negotiation skills and interview confidence; targeted training can make a measurable difference in how you present and defend your rate in real time.

Safety, Emergency Protocols, and Training

Clarify emergency expectations: “What are your emergency procedures (doctor’s office, hospital, nearest ER) and who is authorized to make medical decisions if you are unavailable?” Ask whether the family requires CPR or first-aid certification and whether they will cover the cost of training. If a family expects the nanny to administer medication or use medical equipment, ask for written protocols and training.

Discuss background checks and documentation: “Are you comfortable with a criminal background check, reference checks, and driving record review?” If a family resists standard verification, consider it a red flag. Respectful families will understand that transparency protects everyone.

Work Agreements, Reviews, and Future Changes

A work agreement is essential. Ask about written agreements and review timelines: “Are you open to a written work agreement that we review at one month, three months, and annually?” Ask about raises and performance reviews: “Is there a standard cost-of-living increase or merit raise at annual review?” Also ask about contingencies: “If a second child is born or responsibilities increase, how will compensation be adjusted?”

Live‑In Specifics and Privacy

Live‑in roles require additional specificity. Ask about the living accommodations: “What room and bathroom will I have, and are common areas shared?” Discuss grocery and household expenses: “If I live on-site, how will food and utilities be handled?” Set boundaries for days off: “How do you protect and schedule my days off, and what rules apply for hosting guests or using shared spaces?”

Cultural Fit and Long‑Term Plans

Understanding the family’s long-term intentions helps you plan—especially if you’re seeking stability. Ask, “How long do you hope this role will be filled?” and “Are there plans to relocate or expect significant life changes in the next year?” If the family expects you to stay long-term but offers little in terms of raises or development, that’s negotiable. Seek a balance between security and fair compensation.

Translating Answers into an Offer: Negotiation and Contracting

Once you have answers, convert them into a written proposal. Draft a simple work agreement that captures hours, duties, pay, benefits, overtime terms, paid time off, trial period, and confidentiality expectations. Propose a paid trial period if you want to test the fit—express it this way: “I recommend a paid two-week trial so we both see how the routine works. After that trial we will review and confirm the work agreement.” Paid trials give both sides a low-risk way to validate fit.

When negotiating pay, anchor your initial ask slightly above your minimum. If the family counters below your threshold, highlight specific duties that justify higher pay, like transporting children, overnight stays, or housework beyond child-related tasks. Use neutral evidence: market rates in your area, specialized training you possess, and the scope of responsibilities.

If the family resists payroll that includes taxes and contributions, explain the benefits of a formal payroll setup: legal protection for both parties, documented income for tax and visa purposes, and access to employment benefits when applicable. If the family insists on contractor status and you refuse, be prepared to walk away—misclassification can leave you without protections and complicate your long-term career goals.

If you want help translating a family’s verbal answers into a professional work agreement or polishing your negotiation phrasing, you can schedule a one-on-one strategy session so you enter negotiation feeling confident and prepared.

Two Lists to Keep You Focused

1. Phone Pre-Screen Checklist (use this every time):
   1. Confirm rate range and payment method (W-2 vs. contractor)
   2. Confirm hours, start date, and live-in versus live-out status
   3. Identify major deal-breakers (overnights, travel, pets)

• Red flags to watch for during interviews:
  • Evasive answers about pay classification or overtime
  • Reluctance to provide references or allow background checks
  • Requests to perform extensive household chores beyond child care without adjusted compensation
  • Signs of disrespect for boundaries (insistence on last-minute schedule changes without compensation)
  • Lack of agreement to a written work contract or refusal to discuss reviews/pay increases
  • Inconsistent or contradictory behavioral expectations from different household members

(These two lists are the only lists in this article—use them as a quick reference.)

Practical Scripts and Phrasings You Can Use

Scripts reduce anxiety and keep you focused. Below are neutral, professional phrasings you can adapt.

Opening the interview: “Thank you for having me. Before we start, is it okay if I take notes? I find it helps ensure I understand your priorities and can follow up with a clear proposal.”

Clarifying duties: “When you say ‘light housework,’ could you list the tasks you expect daily versus weekly? That helps me estimate time and discuss compensation fairly.”

Handling pay questions: “I’m looking for roles in the $X–$Y range depending on duties and whether travel or overnight care is required. How does that fit with your budget for this position?”

Addressing travel: “If travel is required, would you expect me to accompany the children? If yes, how are travel expenses and personal time handled?”

Requesting paperwork: “I prefer to work with a written agreement that covers hours, duties, pay, and time off. Are you open to that? I can draft a first version based on what we discuss.”

Closing with next steps: “I appreciate the clarity—we covered a lot. Would you like me to put together a brief draft work agreement and proposed start date so we can move forward?”

Use these scripts to steer conversations away from vague commitments and toward concrete terms you can document.

Practical Mistakes to Avoid and How to Handle Them

Mistake: Accepting ambiguous language like “help around the house” without specifying tasks. Fix: Ask for specifics and propose compensation adjustments for duties beyond childcare.

Mistake: Agreeing to work while the family handles taxes informally. Fix: Request a payroll setup or an alternative that protects both parties, and explain the practical reasons calmly.

Mistake: Not asking about insurance or liability before driving children. Fix: Ask directly who covers auto insurance for nanny drivers and whether you’re authorized on the policy—if not, decline driving until coverage is arranged.

Mistake: Failing to test run a live-in situation. Fix: Negotiate a paid trial period so you can assess privacy, sleep quality, and household boundaries.

Mistake: Neglecting to get a written record of agreed pay increases or reviews. Fix: Include review dates and raise commitments in the initial work agreement.

Address these common errors proactively; most families appreciate structure and a professional approach, and your willingness to document arrangements protects everyone.

When You’re Offered the Position: Steps to Take

When you receive an offer, don’t accept on the spot unless it already meets your non-negotiables. Ask for the proposed work agreement in writing and review it. Confirm the trial period terms if one was agreed, and confirm start dates and schedules in writing. If families don’t provide a written agreement, offer to draft one and ask them to review.

Before starting, complete or confirm background checks and reference calls, collect any keys, access codes, or vehicle authorizations you need, and get contact details for emergency contacts and the children’s pediatrician. If certification or additional training was promised, confirm how and when it will be provided.

If you feel unsure about how to formalize the agreement, or want an objective review of the contract language, you can start a tailored roadmap with a coach who helps childcare professionals convert interview outcomes into solid employment agreements and long-term career plans.

Long-Term Considerations: Career Development and Mobility

Think about the role’s long-term trajectory. Does the family provide opportunities for professional development, such as a stipend for training or paid time to attend workshops? Will they support certifications that increase your market value? If you plan international mobility, ask whether the family would support visa sponsorship or whether the role could convert into a remote-friendly position during travel.

If your career goals include advancing into areas like early childhood education, household management, or private household consultancy, build those aspirations into your conversation. Propose a path: “If we find the fit works well after a year, I’d be interested in taking on additional responsibilities such as overseeing other household staff or designing educational activities—could we discuss how compensation might reflect that?”

A structured plan with periodic reviews turns a private household role into a stepping stone rather than a silo. If you want support translating your childcare experience into a broader professional brand—resume updates, interview preparation, and negotiation coaching—there are resources and training programs that can accelerate that growth.

For nannies who want deliberate skill-building, an online course that focuses on interview preparation and confidence-building can make a measurable difference in negotiation outcomes and long-term career growth. Investing in targeted training is not just about getting a higher rate; it’s about clearly communicating your value and turning informal skills into recognized expertise.

Notes on Legal and Ethical Issues

Be aware of employment law basics in your jurisdiction: minimum wage, overtime thresholds, and payroll tax requirements. If you’re unsure about classification as an employee versus contractor, consult a local labor authority or a professional who specializes in household employment. Never agree to undisclosed cash payments without documentation—doing so exposes you to legal and tax risk.

Respect anti-discrimination laws. Families should not ask illegal questions about your age, marital status, pregnancy plans, or health conditions. If a family asks an illegal or inappropriate question, redirect the conversation: “I’m happy to discuss my availability and experience. Could we focus on the schedule and duties you need covered?”

Confidentiality in private homes is another ethical matter. If you’re asked to sign a confidentiality clause, read it carefully. Confidentiality should protect the family’s privacy but not prevent you from reporting illegal activity or seeking legal counsel if needed. If a clause feels overly broad, propose narrowing it.

Tools and Documents to Prepare

Prepare a single sheet that summarizes your qualifications, references, certifications, and a succinct list of duties you are willing to perform and those you are not. This document becomes the basis of a work agreement and speeds negotiation.

Also have ready a one-page draft work agreement template that captures hours, duties, pay, overtime, payroll method, PTO, trial period terms, review schedule, and termination notice. Offering to draft the agreement after the interview positions you as a solution-oriented professional and often accelerates the hiring process.

If you want professional templates that speed this process, you can access free career templates to help you craft a clean resume and cover letter that reflect your childcare experience and professionalism.

Conclusion

Asking the right questions at a nanny job interview changes the dynamic from guesswork to clarity. Your goal is to exit the interview with a clear understanding of duties, safety protocols, compensation and legal terms, and the family’s long-term expectations. Treat your interview as a professional negotiation: come prepared, use specific phrasing, insist on documentation, and protect your boundaries. Convert verbal promises into a written agreement and schedule regular reviews so the role can evolve fairly as responsibilities change.

Your career as a childcare professional deserves the same planning and strategy as any other professional path. If you want help turning interview outcomes into a clear, confident offer—or if you’d like a coach to role-play your interview and strengthen your negotiation approach—book a free discovery call to build a personalized roadmap to your next role today: https://www.inspireambitions.com/contact-kim-hanks/.

Whether you plan to work locally, support a family through relocation, or integrate this role into a broader global mobility plan, prioritizing clarity at the interview stage protects your time, income, and long-term career growth. Ready to take the next step? Book a free discovery call to map your interview strategy and create a tailored negotiation plan that positions you for success: https://www.inspireambitions.com/contact-kim-hanks/.

FAQ

Q: How do I legally protect myself if a family asks me to work as an independent contractor to avoid taxes?
A: Request a formal payroll setup. Explain that payroll protects both parties by keeping records for taxes and legal compliance. If the family insists on contractor status, ask them to provide a written agreement and consider consulting a local labor authority about the implications for your benefits and tax obligations.

Q: Should I accept a lower hourly rate for live-in accommodation?
A: Only if the accommodation and reduced commuting costs balance the lower rate and you still meet your minimum income needs. Clarify who pays for food, utilities, and any household costs, and document your paid time off and private space clearly.

Q: How long should a paid trial period be?
A: Two weeks is common, but you can negotiate a shorter or longer trial depending on the role. A paid trial allows both parties to validate fit; be sure trial terms—hours, pay, duties, evaluation criteria—are documented in advance.

Q: What if the family is hesitant to sign a written agreement?
A: Offer to draft the agreement yourself and frame it as a tool that protects both parties by ensuring clarity. If they still resist, be cautious—verbal agreements are harder to enforce and more likely to lead to misunderstandings. Consider whether you’re willing to accept that risk before starting.

Additional help and templates can reduce friction when formalizing offers—if you want customized support drafting an agreement or practicing negotiation phrasing, I can help you convert interview answers into a solid contract and negotiation plan. You can book a free discovery call here to get started: https://www.inspireambitions.com/contact-kim-hanks/.

(If you want structured training to build interview confidence and negotiation skills, consider a targeted course that teaches practical techniques and role-play exercises to increase your effectiveness in real interviews.)